DON'T DATE

I would say, getting into a relationship at a young age can cause a lot of damage for both individuals.  The media glamorizes relationships. As a young girl, Disney specials where the girl has a loving boyfriend, princess movies where she meets the man of her dreams, and teen romance comedies. With this media readily accessible to me, I began to fantasize about finding “the one” at a very young age.  

The romanticization of simple crushes caused many issues for me. I began to turn a blind eye to behaviors boys exhibited when I began to take an interest in them because of the idea of the idea of a “soulmate.” I have encountered trauma caused by betrayal, cheating, lying, and abusive behavior. I’ve had a guy try to control what I wear and dictate make-up. The healing process is something I never gave myself the chance to experience because of my addiction to “true love.” 

For anyone who is struggling with an abusive relationship, tell an adult or a friend. I recommend having a support system. Do not lose yourself in any relationship, do not push away your friends and prioritize your partner, and especially do not enable unhealthy behavior. If your partner comments on your outfit, makeup, or personality negatively, establish boundaries. Boundaries in any topic when it comes to relationships, even friendships, are key for healthy growth. When these boundaries are violated, it is time to come to terms with whether this person should be in your life.  

Keep an eye out for toxic behaviors! Google and friends can come in handy when searching for red flags. After a breakup, give yourself time to heal. Do not rush into another relationship. The healing process can look like hanging out with friends, self-care, crying, treating yourself, and starting a new (or continuing) hobby.  

I regret enabling toxic behaviors and not seeing my own worth. Live your life. Relationships are not the most important things on this planet. Don’t limit your worth and happiness for a partner.